New Mystery

 So...good news and mysterious news...and isn't that always the case when scientists gaze lovingly into this complex set of systems we think of as "my body"? haha

We are stardust. We are golden.

No internal bleeding was found during the colonoscopy and upper GI endoscopy ("the combo"). That's the good news.

And now for the new mystery...

Portrait of a Bull*

Esophagus: "There was about 2cm submucosal lesion right above the GEJ [where it connects to stomach]. Biopsy taken. [Oh goody, a new game of How Calm Can You Be? while you wait 1-2 weeks for a pathology report 😂🤣 - the Cosmos is testing my Zen strength 😎 - I'm winning!]

2cm is ~3/4 inch for us Americans cuz y'all know how stubborn we are about sticking to old school weights and measures!

And even more fun is scheduled... I get to swallow a wireless camera capsule so they can look for internal bleeding in the small intestine, because I have unexplained anemia, and I had surgery last year to repair damage to the ileum (oooh, I get to learn new words. I'm having too much fun on this adventure). I get to do the cleanse again!

Nobody told me that the big C is an extreme roller coaster ride! Woo hoo!!!

Is anyone starting to get me? This is why my cancer journal started with... Zen and the Art of Living with Cancer? Laughter is the best medicine.

Lately it occurs to me...what a long, strange trip it's been.  Keep on truckin. ✌

*Allow me to explain the Bull. I was hangry on the way to the "combo" and hangry until we got to Joanne's Country Kitchen. Two and half days of nothing but broth, electrolyte drinks, apple juice, lime Jell-O and banana Popsicles, four Dulcolax pills at noon two days in a row, and two bottles of magnesium citrite, which must be the main ingredient for the most insane sour candy conceivable. 

All I could think about was food. 

I dreamt of food last night. I had to get up every hour to pee - I think it was pee - at some point, I couldn't tell where the liquid was coming from! The Cleanse. The Dreaded Cleanse. 

Every food commercial was brutal. 

Every sitcom where people were eating. 

Every food billboard we passed on the way to the hospital. 

Every restaurant pouring breakfast aromas into the street on the way to a combo nobody orders. Except doctors. 

I repeated today's mantra, "It's almost over. I can eat soon." Then I would think about what I was going to eat. But I wouldn't make the mistake I made after my first colonoscopy. No, today's meal would be light, easily digestible. I do not recommend Cinnamon Roll French Toast after fasting and cleansing for two days for a colonoscopy. (I have to do a two-day prep because I can't keep the usual medicine down.)

I sat with my husband in Joanne's Country Kitchen on Winchester Road. Hangrily listening to chit chat. Hangrily waiting for eggs. And this pastel bull stares at me. Nonchalant. I felt the artist challenging me to keep calm and gaze at pastel cows. A hangry epiphany perhaps. Or maybe it was the sedative. I took its picture to remember this magical connection with something beyond my understanding.