Every little thing is gonna be alright

Don't worry about a thing...
cuz every little thing is gonna be alright.

Inspired by Bob Marley, 3 Little Birds

It's a curious process, facing a cancer diagnosis and treatment plan. Yesterday I had my first PET scan and the initial report showed up today in my healthcare app. I read it and found parts of it unexpectedly funny. 

"The liver, spleen, pancreas, adrenal glands, and kidneys appear grossly normal."

 The doc called a while later and asked if I'd seen the results and I nonchalantly replied, "Yes." 

She said, "So, your lymphoma is at least stage three." 

"Okay," I said, rather detached. I mean, she already told me two weeks ago in her office that she considered me at stage three, because of the size of some of the lymph nodes, based on the May 2025 CT scan. So to me, the PET scan was rather on the plus side because I was expecting it to show that cancer cells were in at least one vital organ. I mean, CT scan summaries can be pretty scary to read and the images are just a big mess of blobs. How anyone makes sense of these things is beyond me. 

I guess I've come to terms with the fact that I am living with cancer. Emphasis on living. 

I am going to continue to live my life to the fullest until I can't. And if the pain and suffering become intolerable, I am going to have a stargazing bon voyage party in the desert and terminate this terminal illness on my terms, grateful for the End of Life Option Act in my home state, thank you very much. 

I don't think the initial report is all that's coming from the PET/CT scan. I expect more, but so far, it sounds like it's still only in the lymph system. It sounds like it has not traveled to any vital organs. She would have told me that. 

We reconfirmed my May 14th phone appointment with her, at which time she can explain more, answer any questions we have. 

And then about an hour later, I got a call from the care team to schedule the bone biopsy she ordered. You see, before she can prescribe the two-pill treatment that I wrote about in my previous blog, she has to rule out internal bleeding as the cause of the anemia I've had for several months. I had two surgeries last year, one to repair a perforated small intestine (caused by an airbag in a rather minor auto accident) and then a colon resection to remove a tumor that turned out to be colon cancer. 

I had two cancers, now I have one (My Cancer Journey). The two were unrelated. The lymphoma likely started in 2014. It is a very slow growing cancer that can take 10 to 20 years to develop symptoms. The cancer cells in my lymph nodes are not the same type as the cancer cells that were in my colon. The colon cancer was contained inside the colon and did not travel beyond the colon. It was completely removed, and now all I have to do is get a colonoscopy every 3 years to check for polyps and nip it in the bud if any show up. 

But the lymphoma is active. The nodes in my neck have been getting more noticeable to me when my fingertips brush along my neck, and I have a habit of feeling them. I did not notice any lumps on the right side of my neck, until a couple of months ago. The PET scan confirmed that it's active, from neck to groin, there was activity seen. But my heart, lungs and other vital organs appear unaffected. Grossly normal, as they put it. That should be the name of a cartoon. 

What is she looking for in a bone marrow biopsy? Is leukemia the cause of anemia? She has also ordered a GI endoscopy, which is scheduled June 9th, to look for internal bleeding in the digestive tract. If there is no cancer in the bone biopsy and no internal bleeding is found, then anemia must be due to malabsorption and/or dietary. I have already written about absorption and dietary questions as the culprit (anti-nutrients). 

And once internal bleeding is ruled out, the two-pill treatment can be prescribed. (One of the pills has a high risk of bleeding as a possible side effect; it would be too risky to take that pill if I have a little leak in my gut.)

Can they repair a leak in my gut? Maybe. Probably. With a laparoscopic surgery? Hopefully. But more hopefully, I hope the GI search ends in a big nope. Nope, that's not the issue. 

So here we are. Enjoying life one day at a time as we all should anyway. Regardless of circumstance. I have much to be thankful for. I am very fortunate in many, many ways that other people are not. That truth never vanishes from my consciousness. 

I am thankful for toilets and toilet paper. Don't laugh. I'm being sincere. There are many people in this world who do not have indoor plumbing and tissue to wipe! I have been aware of this for decades. 

I have access to very good nutrition 24/7. I can afford food. I have a car, paid off. I have a home, paid off. I have healthcare. I have people who love me, people who are kind to me. I do not take this for granted. 

I am healthy in many other ways. I can walk, hike, swim, and I have access to a heated community pool and use it almost every morning. It is a luxury. 

I read Jim Morrison's autobiography when I was quite young and this stuck with me: "No one here gets out alive." Okay? We all die. We are all always dying. The universe is in a chronic state of decay and change. There is nothing we can do to stop that. There are super black holes gobbling the Milky Way. Stars die. Our sun will turn into a red dwarf star and gobble up the planets in 4 billion years. 

Something tells me we are meant to accept this and enjoy our time as humans on Earth with gratitude. 

I write this blog to help my loved ones cope when I am gone. And to help anyone else who happens to discover it due to a search result. 

Every little thing is gonna be alright. This is my message to you-hoo-hoo. ❤